In our hyper-connected world, the quest for validation has become a pervasive force, subtly shaping our attitudes, decisions, and even our identities.
The essence of my saying that, "Never let the need for validation become the premise for your vision.” Is that it's a steal of your own genuineness and thus it was to serve as a reminder of the importance of staying true to oneself.
Relying on external validation can erode our authenticity, leading us to live a life that reflects the expectations of others rather than our true selves.
Let's break this down, on why this act can have a detrimental effect on an individual and also make them lose touch with their inner genuineness.
The Allure of Validation
Validation from others provides a sense of acceptance and approval. It feels good to be liked, admired, and supported by those around us. Social media, with its instant likes, comments, and shares, has amplified this craving for validation. However, this external affirmation can become addictive, leading us to prioritize the opinions of others over our own beliefs and desires.
When we let the need for validation drive our actions and decisions, we risk losing sight of our own values and aspirations. Our vision becomes clouded by the expectations and judgments of others, leading us to conform to societal norms rather than pursuing what truly resonates with us. This can quickly lead to a case of borrowed personality syndrome, which is a case of living your life based on the personalities of others, this can also be referred to a lighter form as Mirroring.
The Cost of Borrowed Personalities
Living for validation means adopting a borrowed personality—one that mirrors the preferences and expectations of others rather than reflecting our true selves. This can manifest in various ways: choosing a career path to please parents, adopting fashion trends to fit in with peers, or expressing opinions that align with popular sentiment rather than our own convictions.
Over time, this borrowed personality can create a disconnect between our true selves and the persona we present to the world. This disconnect can lead to feelings of dissatisfaction, inauthenticity, and even resentment. When we live for others, we deny ourselves the opportunity to explore our authentic unique strengths, passions, and perspectives.
The Power of Authenticity
Authenticity is the antidote to the need for validation. Embracing our true selves requires courage, self-awareness, and a commitment to living in alignment with our values. Authenticity allows us to pursue our vision without being swayed by external pressures.
When we are authentic, we attract people who appreciate us for who we truly are, rather than for the façade we present. This leads to more meaningful relationships and a deeper sense of fulfillment. Moreover, authenticity fosters creativity and innovation, as we are more likely to take risks and explore new ideas when we are not driven by the need for validation, or constrained by the fear of judgment.
The Need to Cultivating Inner Validation
To break free from the need for external validation, we must cultivate inner validation. This involves developing a strong sense of self-worth and self-acceptance, independent of the opinions of others.
In other to be able to cultivate these qualities, certain measures needs to be adopted, these includes:
Self-Reflection: Take time to reflect on your values, passions, and goals. What truly matters to you? What are your strengths and unique qualities? Journaling, meditation, and introspective practices can help you gain clarity about your true self. Journaling is great for a start and meditation is super great for learning and understanding yourself more and appreciating your uniqueness.
Set Boundaries: Learn to say no to things that do not align with your values and vision. Setting boundaries helps protect your authenticity and prevents you from being swayed by external pressures. No, like it is said is a complete word, learn to say no and not feel the need to explain your decision.
Seek Internal Affirmation: Practice self-compassion and self-affirmation. Acknowledge your achievements and strengths, and be kind to yourself in moments of failure or self-doubt. Internal affirmation builds resilience and reinforces your sense of self-worth. Have your own back and always be there for yourself. Don’t play down on your goals and achievements as if they are nothing.
Surround Yourself with Authentic People: Build relationships with individuals who value authenticity and encourage you to be yourself. Surrounding yourself with supportive and genuine people can reinforce your commitment to living authentically. Stay clear of people you try to make you feel like you always have to put up a front and pretend to be what you are not, even when this is done for the sake of PR or public image.
Embrace Vulnerability: Authenticity requires vulnerability—the willingness to be seen and known as you truly are. Embrace your imperfections and be open about your struggles and successes. Vulnerability fosters genuine connections and strengthens your sense of self. More importantly, people are drawn to people they feel they can connect with on a deeper level of genuineness, especially when these people share their struggles and growth.
Always remember, that the need for validation can easily become a thief of our genuineness, leading us to live lives that reflect borrowed personalities rather than our true selves.
So it is important that we can make a conscious effort to cultivate inner validation and embrace our authenticity. In doing so, we can reclaim our vision and align our actions with our true values and passions.
Remember, the most fulfilling and meaningful life is one lived authentically, guided by your inner compass rather than the expectations of others.
Thank you for stopping by.
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