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How to break bad habits

 woman with messy hair wearing black crew-neck t-shirt holding spoon with cereals on top

Make them invisible, unattractive, difficult, and unsatisfying. Increase friction between you and the behaviour.

If you want to watch less TV, unplug it after each use and put the remote in a drawer.

More friction, less mindless watching.

“Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become.”

The ultimate form of intrinsic motivation is when a habit becomes part of your identity.

While this can be difficult and sometimes non attainable for many, you need to understand that making an effort to get to your desired level, might be all that you need to get to that level.

TRY!

Understand that  there is a connection between your habits and your identity.

Your habits shape your identity, and your identity shapes your habits.

It's one thing to say "I'm the type of person who wants this." It's another to say "I'm the type of person who does this."

The more pride you have in a particular aspect of your identity, the more motivated you'll be to maintain the habits associated with it.

Breaking a habit can be difficult, especially when it's a bad habit. 

This is mainly so because vice has no motivation but impulse.

A bad habit tends to be self-serving and may or may not be rooted in any intention, while a good habit most likely will be rooted in a noticeable good intention.

Of course, I understand that the idea of what is good or bad is subjective, so I'm not going to generalize it.

But, I bet you get the point.

You smoke when the urge strikes you, that's it. You simply smoke to get rid of it.

You clean your car every morning before driving out, because you like to appear clean and you take pride in it.

You can see that one is based on urge or impulse while the other is based on intentions.

To change or build new habits you need time, effort and consistency.

I am aware that there is a general knowledge that if you do something for 21-days straight, it will become a habit.

While it may be true, I also know that if you don't do something for 21 days straight it doesn't become a non-habit.

Let me explain.

If you start smoking and do it for 21 days straight, I guarantee that we can easily say that you have picked up a new habit and a bad one at that ( remember what I said about bad habits? )

However, if you stopped smoking for 21 days straight, that can not really be counted for you as having broken the habit. Because, for this case, all you need is to have one exposure to it and BOOM, you are back at it again.

So, in essence what I'm trying to insinuate is that while the process of picking up a new habit can be measured ( as in this case 21 days ) the process of giving up a habit can not be tangibly measured likewise.

That is the reason why drug addicts can relapse even after months or years of being sober.

So, breaking a habit can not be confined to the boundary of the time slot as has been allocated for forming a habit.

You have to keep keeping on the effort, if you must succeed in giving up a habit. 

In Fact I dare say it is going to take as long as you are willing to continually and intentionally fight it off.

And most likely you may not even be aware of the time that you have completely wean yourself of the habit, because you are locked-in in the decision and determination not to fall back to it.

However, when you get to this level, I urge you not to entertain any ideas of the habit, not within you, not around you and not any time at all.

Because, know it now if you don't know it already: Old habits never die.

They just get subdued to a level of insignificance and powerlessness that can  not influence your life anymore.

But, if you let them rear up their head for any reason, the neural pathways will be awakened again and the struggle continues.

Take care.

Thank you for stopping by.

If you found any value in this post, I believe you will benefit from others too.

Would you like to add any personal anecdotes, specific examples, or additional insights to this post?

Please, leave them in the comments below.


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